Once upon a time the night gave way to day and this girl was still dreaming…a giant candy cane melting in the Serengeti sun, a dog barking somewhere in the distance and your severed leg lying in a puddle to the left of center.
Happy February. It’s a groaner, it’s only the beginning of that last damn leg of the winter race. Its defining, shining moment is a Hallmark Holiday…which, if Wikipedia is correct…originated due to two (or three) early Christian martyrs named Valentine, whose respective histories eventually became indistinguishable from one another. One of them was buried on February 14th, and a rich length of ridiculous societal history unfolds from there. I am most definitely cynical about this holiday, but in a “let’s make the most of it” kind of way. Because otherwise, you stand to be sorely disappointed (this philosophy can also be applied to all major holidays, vacations and weddings). February is a month so bleak, you have to be a little more creative to get through it…laugh a little harder at the dumb stuff…bring a flask into the movie theater…bury St. Valentine in the back yard (perhaps along with that doily-decorated shoe box from grade school) and lower your expectations…hang out with friends, do what makes you happy…whatever.
- Sweet, sweet frosted cookie from Pattycake Vegan Bakery in Columbus, OH.
I was groaning to my mom over the phone last night about the same things that always get me down and she dropped an excerpt of this quote on me.
“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.” ~Mother Theresa
And in the end, it doesn’t matter whether or not the person who said this at one time questioned their faith…whether or not she was true to her public persona internally and at all times. It’s a small thing, and those words helped me get through the night.
When I see a female silhouette, the first name that comes to mind is “Nancy”. It’s really nothing more than a kind of muscle memory (if you think in terms of the brain as a muscle)…because I saw a brass charm once in an antique store in Indiana that sealed the mental deal for me. That charm was engraved with the name “Nancy” and there you have it.
Side notes: I believe in wishes, casting pennies into a fountain…daydreaming. Also thinking of Atreyu wading through the Swamps of Sadness…geezus that was sad.
There’s this big book about Abraham Lincoln at my parents’ house with a lot of pictures…in fact…I think it’s called “Lincoln in Pictures” or something like that. I used to look at this one photo of his granddaughter when I was a kid and was struck with an incredible urge to draw her. So i sat down at mom and dad’s kitchen counter and copied the image. Tonight while visiting the fam for the holidays, I found myself with a similar urge after watching a biography of Louisa May Alcott on TV. And sheeeeeit, if that sketch I did of Jessie Lincoln at age six wasn’t better than this. It’s amazing how similar drawing is to any other physical skill! Practice makes perfect and when it comes to sitting down with the patience and confidence to capture the essence of a face on paper, there is no exception! My drawing ain’t bad, and perhaps I was TOO overcome by that hairdo, but it’s just not quite Louisa. Me thinks this should become a regular exercise, lest I lose my ability to capture a simple likeness!!!
*Punchline to the best joke I’ve heard in a long time.
Who’s ready for 2010? Raise your hand… (I did).
I talked to my friend Brad on the phone briefly last night and we both kind of acknowledged that it’s a bit silly to place so much significance on the beginning of a new year but whuthefuck…we’re gonna roll with it. I believe that the perception of time and space as we know it is a brilliant invention that allows us wacky humans to attain some sense of *sanity.
*≤ insanity caused by the perception of space and time as we know it.
Really, my reasons for wanting a new year is because I want a new freakin’ resolution. I’m tired of focusing on last year’s (which had something to do with taking people as they are and not as I want them to be). Welp…those sorts of lessons learned don’t come without a price and I think I’ve had enough heavy moments this year to make that resolution seem less like a concept and more like a lifetime of hard work. 2010 marks a sweet deadline to be met with drinks, dancing and a proclamation or some sort of general focus for the year ahead. I want something lighter…I want something that will help me to carry out the work laid out in 2009 with a *greater sense of humor.
* If Karma is real, then we’re all gonna get some. I laugh.
I genked this from my friend Kelly's Facebook pictures. Seed art at the Minnesota State Fair...how cool is that?!
My resolution is to lighten up a bit and make more room for the good in all things.
Do you have one?
My friend MO sent me the link to this video on Buzzfeed today. It did indeed, make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Behold…The Happiest Chair in the World!
I’d really like to splurge on a signed Brandon Bird print this year.
And a book of Francesca Woodman’s photography…oooooh.
I’m usually pretty good at things I practice at…and once I get good at something, it’s easy to make spontaneous and inspired decisions. However, there are a few things that I haven’t practiced at enough in my life to come even close to good…let’s label me paralyzingly and frighteningly terrible in those areas.
Examples:
1. Sports involving fast moving objects. That pretty much covers any sport, and I’m a slow-moving person. Badminton and Crab Soccer I can deal with because they are so lacking in the hard-core department that I can get away with laughing off my lack of skill. I’m more a fan of laughing than winning, more a fan of doing a little dance than kicking your ass. How I did not inherit my father’s ultra-competitive, game loving streak, I don’t know. But there you have it.
2. Guitar Hero/Rock Band. I’m kinda thinking that it’s stupid to get good at something that is a virtual mockery of a real art form. But mostly, I’m just taking that stance because I don’t have a game of my own to hole up with for hours on end every day in order to get better at it (flash back to me obsessively playing Super Mario 1 as an eight year old).
3. Committing to listening to an album the whole way through. I’m a little bit A.D.D. and that’s why I like letting other people be in charge of the music. My B just put on Queen while I finish up some work (busted, I’m blogging first) and he makes dinner. I’m able to relax and enjoy it when the soundtrack is a surprise. No surprise that I love the iTunes/iPod shuffle option so much.
4. Decorating an apartment. I’m hopeless. But I’m going to take the plunge and pretend to be unafraid. For all of my design skills, I am practically frozen in fear over putting the right things up on the wall. I’ve lived somewhere for three whole years with nothing on the walls. Now that’s madness! Recently I’ve begged some friends to “tell me what to dooooooo?!” and come to the conclusion that I ask their opinion because they are fearless in their decisions to make a space reflect their imaginations. I should take note, and practice makes better, right? Let’s see what happens…
p.s. I got that C*nt poster I wanted so badly…still trying to figure out where to put it.
The Poky Little Puppy
Snow White, illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman (there was a time I wouldn't have thought twice about that name).
Black Orchid, Illustrated by Dave McKean.
Vertigo, everything about it.
Honeycomb cereal, currently eating out of the box.
